When you first start getting to know someone you tend to like most things about them almost immediately. However sometimes it might take an outside opinion from a family member or friend to make you see crucial traits, subtleties or warning signs that you might have missed. These are otherwise known as red flags and they're tell-tale signs that the person is not quite right for you. Here are 9 relationship red flags that you should take note of.
1. Aggression/ Anger
If you’ve noticed that your potential significant other has a short fuse and usually reacts badly to the smallest mishap or situation, this could be revealing a deep seated issue with anger or unforgiveness which hasn’t been dealt with. How they respond to any given situation is telling to how they will most likely respond to you.
A condescending attitude towards others isn’t a good sign and shows a lack of respect for people. He or she might be watching their Ps and Qs with you but, how they treat and value other people is just as important. After all, if you were to get together, you will be associated with each other and this person will be your ‘representative’.
A guy or girl who is constantly talking about themselves is not only boring, but tiring too and shows that they may not be very interested in getting to know you. Could it be down to insecurity? Lack of interest? Or is it just nerves? Take note.
4. Wandering Eyes
If a man or woman can’t give you their full attention because they are too busy looking at other people (in a flirtatious way) then that’s a big ‘no no’. This can be problematic if it becomes a habit and in some cases can be a tell-tale sign of a lack of self-control and lust.
5. Lack of ambition
We are called to encourage each other and be our brothers keepers, but as the saying goes ‘You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’; meaning if your potential partner doesn’t have ambition to begin with, you can’t inspire him to be ambitious – even in your efforts to encourage it.
6. Loose ends
Everyone has a past. A potential partner may have previously been married with children, fresh out of a long-term relationship or even be recovering (and born again) addict. It’s important that they have moved on emotionally and physically from their past so that it doesn’t become intertwined with your potential future because this doesn’t only become a burden, but also damaging if not handled responsibly.
7. Not a believer
The Word tells us not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, so considering a relationship with someone who didn’t share the same faith as you wouldn’t be a great start. Conflicting opinions, practises and lifestyles will eventually be the root cause of tension in the relationship. You have to ask yourself is it worth it?
8. Inability to keep their word
We all want to believe people when they make promises or agreements, especially if it’s coming from a significant other. If your significant other doesn’t keep his or her word when they’ve promised to fulfil something, (and this becomes a habit) this unfortunately shows that they can’t be relied upon (for the big and little things) or trusted to do what they say they would do.
9. Friends or family don’t approve
Caring and discerning friends and family can usually be a good litmus test for any newbie love interests. They can usually pick up (or have prior knowledge) on things that you may miss such as insincerity, underlying character issues or dodgy pasts. As they are on the outside looking in, (and they know and love you) they will be able to see the whole picture and give you honest feedback on whether this person is the right for you.
Whilst no-one is perfect and we will be entering the right relationship with flaws and all, red flags are signs that tell us to stop, look and listen. Going further than preferences or ideals, red flags are usually subtle indications to bigger issues; which if overlooked, can land you in very uncomfortable and stressful situations. Using wisdom, discernment and taking your time to get to know someone is key. Inviting God into the situation from the start is a good way of placing it into His hands and giving him the reigns. After all, God is all seeing and all-knowing and wants His very best for you.
Listen to a special panel of guests on Premier Gospel candidly answer the question 'What are the red flags in your relationships?' with Lady T by clicking play below: