Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and if you’re single you may be experiencing a horrible sinking sensation every time you are reminded of it. There are two main ways to deal with the ‘most romantic’ day of the year. The first is to ignore it completely, pretending that you haven’t even noticed. Some people take this course of action whether they are single or not! The second is to embrace it in a way that works for you. Why not start a new tradition and set the trend?
Approach 1: ignoring it altogether
Valentine’s Day has become a big money-making scheme for card and gift-makers, with many restaurants and retailers jumping on the bandwagon. Those in couples often feel pressured to buy or do something romantic, but as a single you don’t have to follow this trend. You can simply go about the day as if it is any other day and save yourself a few quid while you’re about it.
If you’re struggling to cope with negative emotions about being single, the constant reminders may be too much to bear. If so, come up with innovative ways to shut it out. Take a duvet day and enjoy your favourite (unromantic) film or book. Go for a long walk in the country and enjoy all that nature has to offer. Spend time reading the Bible or working out. The day will soon be over and normality will resume.
Approach 2: embracing it, but with a twist
There are many things you can do to make Valentine’s tolerable and perhaps even fun. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Surround yourself with fun people. Gather a few single friends together and throw a dinner party. If you’re not confident about your cooking skills, ask everyone to bring a dish. Get dressed up and play games or have a movie night. Enjoy the moment.
- Love yourself and others. Spend time thinking about what love means. What does the Bible say about it? How can you love yourself and others more? Just because you are not part of a couple doesn’t mean that you are not loved wildly and passionately by the people around you. Think of some ways you can demonstrate love to yourself. This could be having a pamper day or forgiving yourself for something you’ve been holding onto for years. Then think of ways to demonstrate love for others. Could you visit an elderly relative who has lost a loved one or send someone a thank you card? Focusing on others – and particularly those in less fortunate circumstances – can help take the focus off your own situation if you’re feeling down this Valentine’s Day.
- Do something extravagant. You don’t have to wait for someone to buy you flowers or perfume. Why not treat yourself to something nice? And while you’re at it, why not grab something for someone else who might be feeling lonely or unloved?
- Enjoy the good bits of singledom. There are many benefits to being single. You are free to choose how to spend your time and your money. You can make decisions without having to weigh up the consequences for a significant other. Why not plan a holiday or join a retreat? Why not sign up for a new exercise class or writing course?
- Talk about your feelings. If you’re feeling low or lonely, it’s good to express your emotions. Talk to a trusted friend or church leader, or simply pour out your heart to God. It may help to write down your thoughts in a journal and pray them through. Include things you are thankful for as well as things you feel are lacking in your life. Try not think of being single as inferior or to be duped into thinking that relationships are all moonlight and roses. Remember that you are of the utmost value to God, and his perfect love never fails.