How to plan a lockdown summer holiday

Stuck inside this summer? Never fear! We've come up with ten ways to make the most of your lockdown holiday.

It’s looking increasingly unlikely that those of us living in the UK will be able to enjoy our usual summer holidays this year, so how can we make the most of any time we have at home in the coming months? Here are a few ideas to get you travelling in the right direction…

Recreate a road trip scenario in your front room. Everyone loves a bit of sweaty confinement in close proximity to one another, right? Configure your dining room chairs appropriately, allowing for plenty of unnecessary luggage. Then let the sun blaze in on you and have a good old bicker about directions. Prepare a soundtrack in advance, making sure you pack plenty of water and car snacks for the long journey ahead.

Imagine your home/garden is the Lake District, Venice or New York. Create suitable landmarks to make it more realistic, then walk around complaining about the excessive heat and how much everything costs. Don’t forget to take plenty of photos of your trip.

Have a pool party. Drag the old paddling pool out of the garage and dust off the spiders. Slap on some sun cream, lay out your beach towel, dip your feet in the cool water and sip a nice cool beverage as you try to keep your new corona body squished inside last year’s swimwear. Sit out for the full seven minutes before the sun goes behind a cloud and you have to head inside to find jumpers and socks.

Stick the barbecue on and mow the lawn. These have to be the two most iconic smells of summer, and how better to enjoy them than simultaneously? If you’ve never eaten a hot dog while cutting the grass you’ve really missed a trick! Make all the neighbours jealous with your delicious meat smells and super neat grass.

Do nothing at all. One of the best things about summer holidays is being able to completely switch off and relax. Let the dishes pile up and give the kids a good book to read. Or better still, get the kids to do the dishes while you read a good book.

Eat as many ice creams as you can. We all know calories don’t count during the summer, so be sure to stock up with all your favourites and eat them two at a time, fending off imaginary seagulls and pesky dogs/toddlers as you do so. Ice cream is basically water, so it must be pretty hydrating, and if it’s fruit-flavoured it may even count as one of your five a day…

Imagine you’re at a music festival, complete with party atmosphere, expensive snacks and unspeakably dirty toilets. Crank up the music and have a little boogie while someone sprays beer over you and gives you the odd shoulder barge if you overstep your two inches of space. Refuse to shower for a week and let the dog give you a henna tattoo.

Get your Wimbledon vibe on. Get the tennis rackets out, knock the ball about for a minute or two and have a McEnroe-style meltdown. Then get Cliff Richard to come and serenade you over the fence while you scoff strawberries and cream under an inside-out umbrella.

Once you’ve done all that you’ll be more than happy to head back to work (return road trip ahoy!), glad the summer holiday is over for another year...

You’re welcome.